Some people collect stamps. Some people collect plants. And then… there are pond people in Western New York. You know who you are when your backyard water feature has officially taken over your brain, your calendar, and even your weather predictions. Here are the undeniable signs:
1. You stop naming your fish… then start again.
You try to be practical: “Goldfish #1, Koi #2…” But within a week, every fish has a name, personality, and favorite hiding spot. And yes, you might even whisper motivational speeches to Bruce the Betta during a snowstorm while everyone else is shoveling.
2. You check water levels before the weather app.
Forget your local forecast. Your pond knows when lake-effect snow is coming first. “Hmm… the skimmer’s struggling, must be another Nor’easter on the way.” You basically become a pond meteorologist for the neighborhood.
3. You talk to your skimmer like it’s a coworker.
Leaf buildup? Algae bloom? Ice forming? Your skimmer knows you have high expectations and zero patience for slackers—even in January. You might even leave it a tiny “thank you” by the patio heater.
4. You have a favorite algae.
Yes, really. Green, brown, stringy, fluffy… if it grows on your pond rocks, you’ve got a name for it. Bonus points if you post about it on a snowy day with a caption like: “Lake Effect Algae: 4 inches overnight.”
5. You judge other ponds… silently, but deeply.
Neighborhood ponds in Hamburg? Amateur. That sad fountain at Canalside? Tragic. And don’t even get started on those plastic ponds with no fish. You’re secretly calculating how long it’ll take them to ice over in January.
6. You own more pond equipment than furniture.
Pumps, nets, aerators, test kits, replacement filters… you’ve got a garage that could double as a pond supply store. Your couch? Optional. Your pond vacuum? Essential. Especially after a windstorm deposits half the yard in your water.
7. You have conversations with fish… and sometimes they answer.
Sure, it’s mostly in your head, but if a koi gives you that look, you swear it understands sarcasm. You start negotiating feeding schedules.
8. Your social calendar revolves around water temperatures.
“Can we hang out Friday?” Sorry, need to check if it’s koi-compatible first. Friends? Understanding. Your pond? Priority #1.
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